You Mean Fat, Right?

2

January 7, 2013 by little hurdles big race

So The Biggest Loser is back on TV. I saw part of the premiere tonight at the gym while I was killing my quads on the bike. I actually never watched this show until about two seasons ago. My best friend, a reality junkie, asked me to watch it so she would have someone to talk to about it. In looking back I think this was her way of encouraging me. This season they are “tackling childhood obesity” and have three children that they are using as ambassadors for change. There was one segment where Jillian Michaels was talking to the kids about bullying. They were talking about being teased at school and how that makes them feel. They were getting teary eyed – I was getting teary eyed. One of the girls was talking about how much she loved gymnastics. She doesn’t go to the gym anymore because the kids tease her and she feels awkward not being able to do the things the other kids can do.
Well, we all know kids are mean. Guess what…adults are mean too.
For some reason with all the political correctness in the world people still think that laughing at, making fun of, or pointing out overweight people is somehow ok. If you notice most of those blooper clip shows are always won by some overweight dad breaking through a chair, ladder, or deck because of his excessive weight. How is this funny? It looks painful to me. Then to add insult to the Schadenfreude that person is usually in the audience laughing along with everyone else. Let me let you in on a secret – he’s not really happy being made fun of by you. Is the logic that making fun of overweight people is somehow helping them? “I’m going to shame them into losing weight”. No, you are just making them feel worse about themselves. As someone who was teased and made to feel bad about themselves for years by strangers, friends, and family – you are not saying anything to us that we haven’t already said to ourselves.
But you don’t usually find people who seek out people to bully as an adult. What you do find is subtle forms of discrimination and taunting. I do a lot of casting of actors for my company. This involves finding actors to “reenact” the first person accounts of interview subjects for television docu-dramas. I usually get a casting sheet which has the photo of the real person and basic statistics – height, weight, ethnicity, hair and eye color. I also get “PC” adjectives to describe the overweight people. Some of my favorites are portly, large in size, barrel chested, of larger carriage, and big-boned (who has bigger bones than everyone else?). I mean here’s the thing…you just mean fat right? Remember I have a picture…what’s the purpose of reinforcing their size? I never see any of the “average” people with any adjectives. I never see any of the thin people with adjectives like, skinny, rail-thin, boney, needs to eat a sandwich.
Everyone knows what size they are – it’s on their clothing tags. It is as illogical as pointing to someone and saying “your eyes are crossed”, “you have a big nose”, or “you have crooked teeth”. You wouldn’t do that. Why? Because it is not nice. Everyone has been depressed in their life. One of the first things you do when you are depressed is comfort yourself with food, alcohol, or sleep. I think it is pretty rare for a depressed person to want to go to the gym or do any other strenuous activity. There is a theory that people discriminate against fat people because they fear obesity like a contagious disease. I think this is a little farfetched – mostly I think people pick on the weak to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings. We all know bullies are actually weak people.
I spent many many years not going to the doctor after one particularly traumatic visit. I went in because I had 10 stitches in my left knee from a fall (I am clumsy). I had to wear a brace for about a month while the stitches healed – at one point I got an infection and needed to get checked out. I made the appointment, explained exactly what I needed, and about 3 seconds after the doctor walked in the room he looked at me directly and said “you know we can staple your stomach no problem”. I know he is a doctor and my complete wellness is his concern – but really? This is the way you approach your patients. How about a little compassion?
You don’t know about anyone else’s life. What their medical, emotional, family problems might be. Help people in a positive way. It’s such a shame that that young girl won’t practice gymnastics because she is embarrassed and being teased. Maybe that is the activity to start her on a path to wellness. Encourage people, it will reward you more than meanness ever will.