I know it’s becoming like a virus. The constant posts from duck faced teens, bad mirror selfies of an outfit or worse yet abs, or even the dreaded white kids attempting to look gangsta – yes it’s annoying.
But in with the bad, and there is a lot of bad, there is some good.
My selfie experience came many many years ago when my friend Anne and I would sneak pictures on someone’s camera – not a phone but actual camera. We’d then wait for the film to be developed and get an exasperated sigh from the owner as they had to turn over the single or double print to us. We found it hilarious! Imagine the skill it took to take a selfie where you cannot preview the image – pure talent. I probably have about 75 pictures of Anne and I taken over many years on many cameras in a photo album – still makes me chuckle.
So, as I may proclaim to be a vanguard of the selfie – my reasons for selfies now are very different than they were back then. As a child I loved photos with family, vacations, pets, school trips, holidays. The camera was a big part of our household. I have so many photos of me and my friends posing Mae West style for the camera naturally I was always a clown. There are many photos of me in an Easter bonnet with my basket, Christmas and birthday dinners, and even more of cross country family vacations. Then somewhere along the way I became ashamed of myself.
I chose for many years to never be photographed – I was ashamed of the way I looked and couldn’t bear to come face to face with my demons. I’ve written many times about the amazing ability people have to see themselves in photos but actually not see themselves as they are. That was me. I’d say you could probably only find a handful of photos taken of me for the last 10 to 15 years pre 2010 – and if you could find any you can bet I’m in the back standing behind a group blocking my body. I knew my life was out of control and the only thing I could really focus on was my hair or did my outfit match. I want didn’t see that I was morbidly obese. I didn’t want to face the fact that no matter how perfect my hair was styled – it wasn’t going to mask the rest of my body.
Once I decided I would not be invisible anymore – I started taking photos again. To quote Dylan Thomas “I did not want to go gentle into the good night”. I didn’t want to be forgotten – I will not be forgotten. So as I see it – I’ve got a lot to make up for and I will take the bad with the good. Of course no one wants to take a bad photo of themselves – but I am learning to accept the way I look and who I am. I’m again the person who will easily photo bomb your pic, I try to record as many moments with friends that I can, I’ll take a selfie with friends if no one is around to be the photographer, and I’ll take a selfie if I dammed well want to – its my experience and my life I’m trying to live to the fullest. I don’t want to look back in 10 years and have no record of myself again.
Here is a recent post my friend Valerie posted on FB in her defense of the selfie – it’s an interesting artist point of view. I agree with so much of what she has to say so rather than steal from her I’ll let you read it in full.
“So, all this derogatory press regarding the “selfie” and how it is seen by many as a narcissistic attempt to validate worth by way of drawing attention to oneself has me fired up. I am going to talk about what it is that I do. I am an artist. I love printmaking, but without access to the proper equipment I haven’t done it since college. If I were forced to pigeonhole my favorite medium I would probably say acrylics and mixed media. Honestly, what I love is creating. I suffer from depression, as many, if not most, artists do, and have spent many years struggling in unfortunate circumstances since childhood. Having to focus all of your energy on survival completely robs you of all creative inspiration, therefore in these technologically advanced times in which we now live it is a wondrous and magical thing to have access to so many devices that make creating as effortless and at your finger tips as scratching your nose. Now let me tell you about what I call ‘ Autofoto’- First let me just say that I have always loved having my picture taken, and between modeling gigs and just being silly, have been doing so since junior high school. But for me there is also a psychological/emotional reason behind it. It is a way of seeing for myself that I do exist, in this skinsuit, at this time, under these circumstances, in this world. Whoa, heavy, right? I do this because so often I find myself longing for “home” not really knowing where or what it is. Photographing myself keeps me tethered while enabling me to express my creative spirit. As a subject, I am free and always available, not to mention that I am continually documenting the story of my life. And believe me, I certainly do have a story to tell. I feel blessed to have the ability to see the beauty in everything. I take pride that instead of using my misfortunes as an excuse to be bitter and ugly, I decorated my poop garden with plastic flowers, thus honing a most valuable coping skill commonly known as ‘turning shit into shinola’. My email address is valerieisart, because my life is a canvas. The reintroduction to inspiration that my little cell phone has provided by way of my chosen form of autofoto expression has been a lifeline, and a means by which I have lifted the veil off the burdens of shame, resentment, and anger. While I will not say that I don’t love feeling beautiful and capturing the ever evolving nature of the passing of years, I will say that, more importantly, I see myself as a reflection of God in whose image we were created, and I have no fear of any misrepresentation. My God is multi-faceted and can see and be seen in an endless myriad of ways subjective to the believer. Whether or not my Autofoto is seen as legitimate art is of no concern. I know the eyes through which this world is viewed, often as possible with rose-colored glasses, and it has a range of light immeasurable to the naked eye. In summing it up, I don’t see things as black or white. I dance in the grey areas without apology and with aplomb. If I inspire anyone, that’s a gift, and if I don’t, it will never stop me from being the artist I was meant to be.”
See not everyone is being a narcissist – if you don’t like my photos it’s ok with me. But maybe you should take one for yourself – the more people we have showing their inner soul and joy may just help to squash the all duck faces of the world.
Here’s a photo of me and Machine Gun Kelly taken at my recent trip to the Newseum in Washington DC – enjoy!
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